New Contents of Lincolns Pockets on Evening of Assassination

By staff editor

Washington D.C. – Until now the photo containing the contents of President Abraham Lincoln’s pockets had remained unreleased to the public.

When President Abraham Lincoln was shot at Ford’s Theatre in Washington, D.C., on April 14, 1865, he was carrying the following:

Two pairs of spectacles and a lens polisher
Pocketknife
Watch fob
Linen handkerchief
Brown leather wallet containing a five-dollar Confederate note
Nine newspaper clippings, including several favorable to the president and his policies.
Magnum Condom
Rubiks Cube
Mad Magazine
Iphone 4 with Picture of Wife Mary Todd Lincoln on Tinder.

(See Photo for More)

Asked why the photo was only recently released. Museum curator Ted Bellows stated, “We still don’t understand how all this stuff could fit in one jacket. Plus, we are pretty sure that issue of Mad Magazine is questionable since it’s date is rather new.