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New Contents of Lincolns Pockets on Evening of Assassination

Washington D.C. –  Until now the photo containing the contents of President Abraham Lincoln’s pockets had remained unreleased to the public. When President Abraham Lincoln was shot at Ford’s Theatre in Washington, D.C., on April 14, 1865, he was carrying the following: Two pairs of spectacles and a lens polisher Pocketknife Watch fob Linen handkerchief…

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New App Hires Little People to Prevent Texting While Driving

Canton, OH – In a record year of accidents related to texting while driving, this Alabama company thinks they have a new answer to the problem.   TextStop, now available in the apple app store and google store empowers anyone who sees a driver texting while driving to start the app, identify the location, and order…

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Mayor of Shithole Doesn’t Appreciate Trump’s Comparison

Kandi, Benin Africa – Mayor Francis Lamont took office two years ago.    His accomplishments since taking office include building two new schools, a healthcare facility, and a public park in his tenure.   Lamont was shocked by President Trump’s comments about his township Shithole in Kandi Benin.  “I make mistakes, sure, but we have done…

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Joe Arpaio Discloses Actual Age

Joe Arpaio, former sheriff  announced  age is not a factor and will run for Senate in Arizona after Republican Jeff Flake retires this year.  “John McCain is a toddler compared to me”, said Arpaio.  “I’m actually 118 years old and have the spunk of an 85 year old”.   Arpaio claims the confusion on age comes…

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Bills Fan Realizes He Has a Family at Home

Buffalo, NY – It had been months since Mark Goslin, a devoted Buffalo Bills Fan realized his wife and three children were living in the same home.   Goslin, a devout Bills fan was in shock at the loss to the Jaguars in the playoff’s then realized he had a family.  “It was like being in…

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Barry Manilow Purchases Rare Antique

Madison, GA – The small but beautiful town of Madison Georgia is known for many things.   Hosting songwriting sensations is not one of them.  But this week, Madison had the honor of Pop Singer Songwriter Barry Manilow visiting one of the town’s unique antique shops.    Manilow was seen to be shopping for antique baseball…

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Scientists Identify Receiving is Better than Giving

Boston, MA – Scientists at Loyola Dell University are reporting what they call a breakthrough in the human brain.  For centuries it has always been thought that the satisfaction in giving was better than receiving.    A 12 month study of 153 men and women between the ages of 18 and 55 revealed that each…

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New California Open Door Law Goes Into Effect 2018

Riverside, California – Residents of Riverside County spent 38 months pushing for new regulations that become law January 2018, making it illegal to not open a door for a pedestrian entering any public place that is within a distance of four feet or less from an entrance.   While the law is the first of it’s…

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Florida Man Leaves Wife for Alexa

Orlando Florida – 36 Year Married man leaves long time wife for Amazon Echo technology.    Drake Stevens, computer programmer announced leaving his wife of over 13 years in favor of what he calls his new partner, an Alexa Voice appliance that he calls Pamela Alexa. “She gives me everything I need.  She listens, she…

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McDonalds Loses Track of Burgers Served

Los Angeles, California –  McDonald’s spokesman announced losing count of number of customers served. “It’s something we are still trying to wrap our head around”, said Ted Shipley, VP of Product Development.  “We had hired someone years ago for the job of counting customers.   That person was promoted, took another position, and unknown to us,…

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